Sleepless Guilt

There was great potential for a really wonderful morning, but guilty parental moments spoiled it.

I think all parents have these. They are the decisions that backfire and cause your little one to become upset or even hurt. With such a big change in lifestyle Alex and I wrestle with this a lot. We have taken our child from the only home he ever knew and put him in a traveling trailer. His schedule is amiss as we move from place to place, the security of his crib is gone in place of an open bed which looks out on the rest of us and the familiar faces he so often played with have vanished.

We validate this decision by focusing on all the new adventures he is having. They are fun yes, but the changes we have implemented have started to catch up with us and the guilt sunk in this morning.

For several nights now Elias has left his bed only to come and sleep with us. Sleep is the operative word here because really, no one is sleeping. In addition he has begun to fight going to bed and often doesn’t fall asleep until long after his bedtime. This makes for a very tired toddler.

This morning I was very excited to take Elias to My Gym, a child focused gym space with mats, balls and climbing structures galore. After waking at 5am he struggled to stay awake on the way to the gym session, then cried and fussed for the first twenty minutes. Needless to say, we left early for home where it took some time for him to settle and fall asleep for a nap.

When mornings like this happen I remind myself that this can easily happen at home and that getting into this mindset does not help because in reality, we currently have no home to go to.

So what about a solution? I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier. I have created a more secure space for Elias by putting up a small baby gate at the opening of his room. At home he was secure in his room behind a closed door. Here it will just have to be behind a gate.

It is 8:30 now and Elias cried for five minutes before falling asleep. This is a vast improvement from the last several nights. Is it too early to claim victory?

Alex thinks this post is depressing. This was not my intention. I’m only trying to be honest. I remind him that we had a wonderful afternoon exploring more neighborhoods and playing in the park.

Much happier after his nap

3 thoughts on “Sleepless Guilt

Add yours

  1. Hi, I think you got this one exactly right. Elias loved his crib and giving him a secure spot is reassuring. As to climbing in your bed, most little ones try it and love to keep it up if allowed. Don’t forget he isn’t even 2 yet!
    And a little one is happiest in the security of his family, whereever they may be.

  2. Hi Lindsay and Alex,

    Having kids means constantly asking yourself if you are doing the best thing (even when they grow up!) With little ones and their limited yesterdays, today soon becomes the new normal. He was probably just have a grouchy morning like we all do at times.


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